


Methods to Madness

by misura



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 09:52:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6700120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How to ask your Captain and/or friend to join you for a threesome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Methods to Madness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anassa_anemou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anassa_anemou/gifts).



_how Bones asked_

Bones knew he was in trouble the moment Jim ducked into the elevator.

Jim was - well, he _might_ be the ducking type when he was in a hurry (who wasn't?) but there hadn't been a crisis for close to a week now, which was unprecedented and, in Bones's opinion a dire omen of things (i.e., crises) to come.

To wit: "You and _Spock_?" Jim asked. He sounded surprised.

"Me and Spock - what?" Sulu was not the only great poker player on board. Not that you could tell it from Bones's record.

Jim scowled. Jim was pretty terrible at playing poker. Didn't keep him from winning a hand every now and then, mostly through sheer dumb luck. "You know."

Bones considered brazening it out. Then he considered Jim giving him the kicked-puppy, I-thought-we-were-friends look for a full day - more, if the next crisis kept running late. "Oh," he said. "That."

"I wondered why he was looking so happy the other day," said Jim. "Good for you!"

Bones had wondered nothing of the kind. Bones had not, in fact, _noticed_ anything of the kind. He assumed Spock was happy with their arrangement, mostly because every once in a while Spock would do something terribly and hopelessly over-the-top romantic, like bring him a cup of coffee, or point out an interesting article that had drawn his eye in the Journal of Intergalactic Medicine.

"Thanks, man."

Jim nodded once, and Bones allowed himself to hope that that was that. Talk done, time to get back to work. No awkward questions asked; no need for Bones to weigh Spock's tender and mysterious feelings against his friendship with Jim.

"You headed for Med Bay?" Jim asked, touching the button for the bridge.

"What?" There was a reason Bones had been dreading this conversation, and it wasn't because Jim knew how to leave well enough alone. "That's it? Good for me, proceed as you are?"

Jim blinked. "Well, I mean. Do you _want_ to talk about it?"

"Of course I don't want to talk about it! Damn it, Jim, I'm seeing Spock, not - "

"Not doing anything that will influence your functioning aboard this ship in any way, meaning I don't need to know about it?" Jim suggested. He looked faintly smug - or so Bones would think, if he hadn't already been overexposed to the smugness of Commander Pointy Ears.

Jim had ducked, Bones reminded himself. Jim had definitely ducked. Into an elevator. With him. To talk about Bones's relationship with Spock.

At the very least, there was a 'so is it true what they say about Vulcans?' lurking somewhere in the future of this conversation. Jim literally wouldn't be able to help himself; Bones had personally diagnosed him as being driven to try and have sex with each and every species included in the Federation and (by preference) also with a couple that weren't. Twice or more, if possible.

"When did you start sounding like an actual grown-up?"

"Hey," said Jim, lifting his hands. "Just, you know. Respecting your privacy. I mean, it _is_ Spock we're talking about here. Don't want to mess things up."

"Considerate of you." Bones didn't buy it for a second.

"So ... " Jim started, and Bones braced himself, "Med Bay, right?"

Bones considered strangling him. Jim probably wouldn't report him, what with their being friends and all, and he thought that it would feel really good. Do wonders for his mood. Jim would recover. He was a perfectly healthy human being, in no small part thanks to Bones. If need be, Bones'd patch him up a little himself; he was headed to the right place for that anyway.

"Just - hypothetically speaking, if we were looking for a third party to - _casual_ , you know, no strings attached, would you - "

"Yes," said Jim. Too quickly. Far, far too quickly. "Your stop, I think?"

*  
_how Spock asked_

"Captain. Over the course of the past few months, Doctor McCoy and I have been engaging in various activities either sexual or romantic in nature. Might you be interested in joining us tomorrow night, my quarters, ten sharp?"

"Sure," said Jim.


End file.
